Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We need to rekindle our bromance
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
