I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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