Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
