that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
