I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
