Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
