My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
