what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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