hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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