How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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