i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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