dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
