Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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