I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
