The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
