Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
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