We're facebook friends in real life
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
