You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have post one night stand depression
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
