Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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