garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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