woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Shame - the story of my life.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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