Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
