i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
