He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
