that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
