Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
