Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
