no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
