you have to choose: penises or morals?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
