just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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