He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
