The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
