I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
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So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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