I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
