So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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