in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have aggressive nipples.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
