she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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