Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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