I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
