Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
