frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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