mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
