I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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