this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
