Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
