The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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