what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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