OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
