I just cut my nipple shaving
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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