I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize