someone get that fucking seahorse.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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