He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
