two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
