you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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