Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
