grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she peed on how many people?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize