At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
