Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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