You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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