Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
