i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
