YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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