I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize