i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
