I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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