Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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