you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
