The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My friends, they love my intelligence
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
